Keeping Your Emotions from Derailing You during a Divorce
Divorce has been called “the living death.” You have many of the consequences you would have had, had your spouse passed away. But they’re not gone. In fact, for many, you have regular contact with them, as you shuttle minor children back and forth between custodial and non-custodial parents. The emotions that you experience during a divorce can be overwhelming—sadness, grief, shame, fear, loss, inadequacy, low self-esteem, futility. How do you best manage those emotions so that they don’t have destructive consequences?
Seek Out Emotional Support
You may find that there are times when you simply want to be alone. Time spent with yourself can help you sort issues out without the biases of those around you. But you don’t want to try to handle everything yourself. Many of the emotions will be new to you, and at times, they will be extremely powerful. Having a close friend who will simply listen to you is essential, someone who will let you vent and won’t make judgments. A word of caution, though—don’t use your lawyer as a sounding board or a therapist. Your lawyer typically gets paid by the hour. If you start taking a lot of his or her time with emotional issues, you’ll find the cost of therapy pretty expensive.
In addition to friends, a professional therapist may be a valid investment. You may have a priest or minister to whom you can talk. You may be able to obtain counseling at reduced rates through a mental health agency or a church.
Expect That It Will Take Time to Move Forward
When you are in the middle of a divorce, it’s not uncommon to simply want it to be done—to have the emotional turmoil be a part of the past, to “get on” with your life. But the reality is that grief and loss take time to heal, even when the situation you were in was very unhealthy. You’ll have good days and bad days. It will likely be a roller coaster ride for a while.
Stay Focused on the Future
There’s little to be gained by staying mired in the past. Acknowledge that the past is done and can’t be changed and focus on how you can do things differently moving forward.
Contact the Law Office of Len Conner & Associates
At the Law Office of Len Conner Associates, we offer a free initial consultation in all family law matters, including issues relating to divorce. Send us an e-mail or call our office at (972) 445-1500 or 972-445-1500 if you’re in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Or call us toll free at (877) 613-5800 for an appointment.
